Cam's Shattered Heart
by Emerald Elves
Summary: Tag to Collateral Damage. Cameron's having a harder time than he lets the others believe.


**I don't own anything. lucky me. This is a one shot I wrote a while ago and decided to post. **

"_I was married."_

Cameron tilted his head back as the water pushing out from the shower head ran over him, taking away the grime of the past few days. Remenance of Dr. Marrell's memories when he killed Reya still lingered within him, even though Dr. Amaro had assured him everything was gone. Except that it wasn't. At unexpected times he could see her terrified face as she was murdered, not a consistent stream of memory, but flashes so quick he'd sometimes wonder if he'd seen it.

These flashes occurred when he thought of the time spent with Reya, Marring his memories of her and the brief time they'd spent together. He couldn't think of her without seeing that frightened face of her's, hearing her screams as she died.

_"But the job got in the way."_

Reya and Marell's broken relationship had destroyed any kind of relationship he and Reya might have had, whether it be intimate, or friends with a one night stand between them. That chance had been taken from him and he was beginning to wonder if he was forever going to be alone since long ago he'd destroyed the one relationship he thought he'd have forever.

Running his hands through his hair he sighed, then turned the shower off. He pulled back the curtain, stepped out and started drying himself off. General Landry had kindly given him three days off to clear his head before their next mission and he felt the need to look into something he rarely thought about. In his bedroom he pulled on some jeans and a tight slightly small red t-shirt. He pulled on socks and shoes, grabbed his coat and was out the front door.

"_I was married for a while."_

He'd been introduced to Erin Jacobs by her brother Dylan during their years at the Academy. Long dark hair, soft green eyes, full lucious lips and a body that could put a model to shame, Cam had instantly been attracted. That attraction had only heightened when he learned first hand of the sarcastic wit she possessed.

Over the course of the next year after their initial meeting he'd met with Erin several times before asking her out on the first of several dates that lead to them becoming an official couple. Three and a half years later they tied the knot.

"_Married.''_

Cam drove for five hours straight, north to where Erin was still living, in their old house no less. He pulled into the driveway of the blue, single story house that had a basement and enough room that it could have sustained up to two children, if they'd had any.

Standing at the door Cameron almost made the decision to turn around and leave but instead he pressed the doorbell. The white door opened, Erin stared back at him, dark hair pulled back into a bun, green eyes as soft as ever and just as beautiful. In her arms, resting on her right hip was a two year old girl, studying him carefully with sharp hazel eyes.

Cam swallowed the lump in his throat. ''Hello Erin."

"Cameron. You're surprised, when was the last time you spoke with your mother?"

Cam blinked, confused. "last week."

"Oh." Erin blushed. ''I guess she doesn't update you."

"You still talk to her?"

Erin nodded. "From time to time. She never wanted to cut ties with me just because we divorced."

"Right.. That's my mom." He took a breath, "So, uh, who's this with you?"

"This is Abby, she's a handful most of the time."

"I'll bet.

"Would you like to come in Cam?"

"That would be nice."

Erin opened the door wider for him. He left his shoes at the door and his coat on the rack before following her into the living room. Erin set Abby down near her toy box and sat down on the closest chair, Cam took the couch. Cam looked around, nervous, unsure of what to say now that he was here. He hadn't seen Erin since the finalization of their divorce, hadn't spoken to her since she informed him four years ago that she was remarrying.

"_The job got in the way.''_

"I never expected to see you again Cam, not after everything."

Everything. The Air Force, its missions, that mission in which he

killed refugees, the divorce. Everything between them had fallen

apart and love had not been enough to sustain them.

Cam shrugged, ''things change."

"What changed for you?'' Erin asked, watching Abby pile blocks.

Cam was silent for a moment, staring at Abby's blond pigtails bounce with the movement of her head. ''I was on a mission. I met someone, her name was Reya. We spent the night together, but when I woke up she was dead, her blood on my hands, my prints on the weapon. I didn't kill her, I was framed and the local authorities proved that with the help of my team. We had a lot in common, Reya and I."

"Did you find out who really killed her?"

"Her ex-husband."

"And that brought you here?"

"They'd divorced for a lot of the same reasons we did. It brought

back memories of us, and our not so amicable divorce."

Erin chuckled. "It could have been word worse."

Abby stood and walked carefully to Cam, grabbed his knees and looked up at him. ''Happy?''

Cam smiled in spite of his mood. He picked her up to settle on his

lap. ''Happy,''

Erin smiled at them. "You would have made a good father Cam."

Cam winced. During their marriage Erin had been pregnant a few times. They had several miscarriages before she gave birth to their son prematurely. Adam died four days later from heart failure and Cam and Erin had divorced prior to having the heart to try again. Impatiently, Abby stood up on him and started to play with his slightly spikey hair. Cam positioned her so that she was leaning against his right shoulder and he could see Erin. His right hand supported Abby so she did not fall.

"Are you ok with her crawling all over you?" Erin asked.

''Maybe if she was heavy, but she's not so it's fine."

"How have you been?" Cam asked after a moment. "You're got Abby. here, I'm going to assume you're at least okay."

"Things are good now. They were rough when Abby was first born, she has asthma and Kevin and I had many sleepless nights. She's doing better now, and Kevin and I both work only half days at the school in order to be with her. She's a hyperactive child, smart too.''

Cam could see the pride on her face and for a fleeting moment he wished he could go back in time and that this was his child she was so proud of. He wished it was Adam.

Erin was about to continue when they heard the door open and a Male voice call out to her. Abby leaned away from Cameron, eyes wide head towards the front door. "Da!"

The Man who walked in reminded Cam a lot of Teal 'c in that he was big, obviously a jock and intimidating, not that Cam was intimidated after learning from the Sodan. He had short, almost military cut brown hair and sharp blue eyes. Abby wriggled off the couch and ran to him, attaching herself to his legs. "Da!"

Kevin picked her up and kissed her cheek. Then his eyes settled on Cam, almost dangerously. ''who are you?"

"Lieutenant Colonel Cameron Mitchell."

He raised an eyebrow unknowingly a-la Teal 'c at Erin. "Your ex-husband?"

Erin nodded. Kevin glared at Cam for a moment before sitting down,

"When were you promoted? ''Erin Asked.

"Before my reassignment to Colorado two years ago."

Erin nodded. "The top secret stuff your mom says you've been doing. The stuff that caused your accident."

"That was unavoidable," Cam told her. ''And besides, I'm not flying right now, though what I'm doing is just as dangerous."

''Why are you doing it then?'' Kevin asked.

''Because I can and I'm one of the best for it, ''Cam growled.

''Are you happy there?'' Erin asked.

Cameron nodded, "Best placement I've ever had. It can be fun sometimes too."

"I'm happy for you."

"Likewise"

Cameron continued to speak with Erin and Kevin and by the time he left Kevin had warmed up somewhat to him, He said his good-byes, refusing Erin's offer to stay for supper and drove home with a lighter heart, that night he had jumbled dreams of Erin and Reya, but not once did he see Reya's dying face.

**Hope you liked. Review if you feel so inclined.**


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